The 18 percent and the 74 percent: a Wentzville parent's read

Why family influence, named by 18 percent, matters most when it gets a grown child to the doctor whose word 74 percent said would move them.

A mother in Wentzville watches her twenty-six-year-old son come home from work, skip dinner, and disappear into his room again. He has been on an antidepressant for a year. Then a second one. He says they "take the edge off," which she has come to understand means nothing much has changed. She has read about newer treatments. She has even printed an article. What she does not know is whether to hand it to him, and what happens if she does.

That scene is a composite, not a real family. But the question at its center, how much a parent's voice counts, is one that a survey our publisher commissioned in June can help answer.

Two numbers that belong together

The poll put one blunt question to 443 Midwesterners in ten states: if you were going to try ketamine or esketamine for depression, whose word would get you there? Here is how they answered in the final validated data:

The physician they already see: 74 percent
Somebody from their own family or friend circle: 18 percent
A veteran or responder with an online following: 4 percent
Advertising of any kind: 2 percent
A podcaster they like: 1 percent

Read quickly, that looks discouraging for parents. The family slice is less than a quarter of the doctor's. But look at it the other way. Family came in second, well ahead of all the media sources on the list. Nine times as many people said a relative or friend would move them as said an ad would.

And the two numbers are not rivals. The most useful thing a parent can do with that 18 percent is spend it getting their adult child in front of the 74 percent. Parents and kin of veterans or first responders, 129 people, gave the doctor 75 percent.

Why the doctor wins

The survey did not ask for reasons, so this is interpretation. A doctor has your history, can check your other medications and conditions, and carries responsibility for the recommendation. Parents, however loving, carry something else: years of shared history, which can make advice feel like pressure.

That may be why another survey question pointed the same way. Asked to name a first stop, respondents sent 56 percent of the vote to the primary care office. A psychiatrist or other mental health provider drew 23 percent. Asking a friend first drew a mere 1 percent.

The awareness gap your child may be sitting in

Parents who have been reading about treatment options may know more than their adult children do. Most respondents in the survey had no idea what Spravato is: a full 73 percent had never encountered the name, a further 21 percent had heard it without knowing the drug behind it, and a slender 6 percent could explain it.

So lead with what they are feeling, not a brand name, which can land like a sales pitch.

For the record, Spravato is esketamine in nasal spray form, and its FDA approval is for adults whose depression standard antidepressants have not improved. Only certified clinics administer it, with the patient observed for a while after every dose. Nobody under 18 is covered by the approval. Whether it is right for any individual is a clinician's call. Brain Recovery Centers publishes an overview of Spravato written for patients you could read first.

What families in this situation are up against

You are far from alone. The poll found that 72 percent of respondents had brushed up against depression, anxiety, or PTSD that the usual prescriptions never fixed. For 22 percent, it was specifically a person close to them and not themselves, and 13 percent more said both.

The first reaction to ketamine-based treatment was also more open than many parents might expect. About a third, 34 percent, chose cautious but open, 18 percent chose hopeful or curious, and 21 percent were skeptical. Only 9 percent reacted negatively. Your adult child is more likely to be unsure than hostile.

Turning the 18 percent into a doctor visit

Here is a practical sequence for a Wentzville parent, or any family member, who wants to help without taking over.

Talk about how they feel, not what they should take. "You have seemed worn down for a long time. Have you told your doctor it is not getting better?"
Offer logistics, not lectures. Offer to find the appointment slot, sit in the waiting room, or drive. In fast-growing western St. Charles County, appointments can be tight, so making the call is real help.
Suggest a written list. Medications tried, doses, how long, and what happened. That history is what a doctor needs to judge whether the depression counts as treatment-resistant.
Find out whether they want you in the room. An adult child has the right to see a doctor privately. If they want you there, they can say so, and they can sign a release allowing the office to talk with you.
Let the doctor say the name. If a newer treatment is appropriate, it will carry far more weight coming from their physician than from you.

When coverage is the sticking point

Many young adults are on a parent's plan until 26, and the question of who pays can quietly shape the whole conversation. Coverage topped the survey's list of priorities: insurance coverage was a top-two factor in picking a provider for 85 percent. Just over half would sit through prior authorizations and phone trees before they would open their own wallet.

If your child is on your policy, you can phone the plan yourself to learn if esketamine is covered and what prior authorization involves, all without touching their private medical details.

Limits of this piece

This is survey data about how people choose care, not evidence about any treatment's effects. Treat it as context rather than medical advice; no treatment can be counted on to help.

If you believe your son or daughter may be thinking about suicide, act today. Worried parents are welcome to call or text 988 themselves, and a counselor from the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can coach you on what to say. If the danger is immediate, dial 911.

Methodology

This study was our publisher's commission and expense, with fieldwork on Pollfish's consumer panel ending June 23, 2026. It yielded n=443 responses from a sample aged 18 through 64 and spread across Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Illinois, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Ohio, and Indiana. Parents in general were not isolated. Every number is final, after validation.